As much as I love Woody Allen. I wish he would tell me that things are going to be O.K. at some point. But I don't think he's going to. Show less «

Television is much more difficult because at every moment the network can force you to change things based on their belief about what would make it popular. You're in a constant debate with a gun at your head, and the gun is cancellation. So it's hard to win the arguments. Show less «

To write for someone who thinks rich people should not be regulated and are deeply concerned about the poor is delusional. As someone who makes a comfortable living, I can clearly state that wealthy people cannot be trusted. Show less «

I think that everything I do tends to root for the underdog. I always felt as a kid that I was under appreciated, invisible or weird, but I've always secretly thought people would one day appreciate what is different about me. I'm always putting that message out there. Eventually, the nerds and the geeks will have their day. Show less «

Extras (2005). I really have no interest in directing anything I haven't written, but if Ricky Gervais called tomorrow, well, I could be seduced. I always watch that show and think it's not going to get me. And then I find myself laughing hard out loud. I'm a burnt-out bitter comic. I don't laugh out loud. I don't make noise. I don't know how he does it but Extras gets me every time. - on the only other comedy creation that makes him laugh every time Show less «

My way of dealing with the world has always been to make fun of it and observe it but not take part in it. That's how I became a writer. But when you have kids, suddenly you have to be part of things. It leads almost to a breakdown because your whole defense mechanism is now really destructive. Show less «

My wife tends to challenge me when I'm working on the female roles. She beats up on me about making sure they have the proper amount of depth and not just be there to serve the men. Obviously my wife makes me laugh a lot but she doesn't see herself as a funny person. In fact, she gets mad at me if I say "How do we make this funny?" She just wants to make it real. Show less «

College is the reward for surviving high school. Most people have great fun stories from college and nightmare stories from high school. Show less «

When R-rated comedies don't work, the studios are really embarrassed by them. But a PG-13 comedy is actually less offensive than an episode of Friends (1994). I think people want something a little more adult. Show less «

[on the MPAA] Studios own the ratings board. Violence sells so they make pot and sex the scary thing so they seem caring. [2016] Show less «

It's so difficult to shock America these days.

I've had movies bomb with terrible reviews, I've had movies make a lot of money with terrible reviews, I've had movies get good reviews and make money. And I like it best when the movies do well and the reviewers like them. I love magazines and film critics, so I eat it up. I'm not one of those people who says "I never read anything". I generally read all of it. Show less «

America fears the penis, and that's something I'm going to help them get over.